Sorry about the delay, I had a fever and a headeache and so I was preoccupied pitying myself rather than write on New Year's Eve. Besides there was the Royal Variety Show on TV, and then I simply forgot about the whole thing.
"Oh," said Cornelius. "You're... Charlotte's mother, aren't you?"
"Yes, Georgia Walsh," beamed Charlotte's mother, extending a hand to shake Cornelius'. "It's so nice to finally meet you, Charlotte's talked a bit about you, you know. I just thought I'd come over, I couldn't help but notice you're decorating your house for Christmas."
Charlotte had, thank your deity of choice, managed to scramble up and to the side when the door was opened wide, and hid from her mother's view, crouching on the stairs leading up to the second floor. The first thought she'd had, was that her mother had come to ask Cornelius why her daughter was at his house. But if that had been the reason behind the visit, there was no way her mom would have come over in a friendly manner, and she probably wouldn't have introduced him to her second daughter either.
"This is my other daughter, Victoria," Charlotte's mother said, still smiling and showing an unnatural amount of bleached white teeth at Cornelius, who was slightly unnerved by the sight as vampires would hiss and show teeth to threaten.
Georgia Walsh prodded her youngest daughter. "Come on, say hello Victoria!"
"Mom!" the fourteen-year-old hissed in embarrassment, which the mother only chuckled at in that patronising, humiliating way only mothers can chuckle at their offspring.
"It's nice to meet you, Mr Reading," Victoria continued, trying to appear unfazed by her embarrassing mom.
Charlotte would have laughed at her sister's utter mortification if it hadn't been for her utter mortification at the thought of Cornelius speaking to her mother. Given the chance her mom would end up telling him every single embarrassing thing she had ever done since she was born, and that was a lot. Plus, if she had laughed, her mother would have heard her.
Cornelius seemed to have overcome the shock of seeing Charlotte's mother on his doorstep. "How nice of you to come over! Charlotte's not with you, is she?"
Charlotte mentally screamed at him not to mention her, but the damage was already done.
"No, sorry, she's at choir practice. Ran out the door not thirty minutes ago. Actually, she'd be quite an accomplished singer if she just focused on her vocal studies."
Victoria rolled her eyes, Charlotte thought something along the lines of "not in a million years," and even Cornelius didn't agree. The Magical Mister Mistoffeles came to the door and sat down beside Cornelius' feet, and when Victoria saw him she was immediately enthralled by the kitty cuteness.
"How adorable!"
Georgia Walsh however, had a dislike of cats and just glanced at the cat before looking at Cornelius again. Actually, she thought, he looked rather handsome. After keeping track of that neighbour, hiding behind curtains in the dark, she'd never gotten a good look at him. He looked rather nice.
"We brought you this!" she said.
Charlotte heard the rustle of plastic and then there was a long silence. She thought in horror at what her mom had presented, seeing as they had decided not to give any neighbour-gifts this year. It was probably something her mom had found in a hurry, something she didn't want, something horrible.
"Oh," Cornelius managed to croak out at last, either surprised or secretly terribly horrified of his gift. "Why thank you!"
He then remembered his manners, and more importantly his need to appear normal. So he did what he thought any normal person would do.
"But where are my manners - Mrs Walsh, why don't you and your daughter come in for some coffee?"
Charlotte resisted the urge to scream and run down to whack him over the head, and instead scurried upstairs before her mother could even answer.
"We'd love to!" Georgia Walsh said, and waltzed past him in a manner that made it quite clear that the invitation had been her goal all along. Charlotte slipped into the bathroom and waited in the dark until she was sure nobody downstairs could see her.
My mom is about to have coffee with my vampire sire, Charlotte thought, and as if that isn't enough, so is my irritating fourteen-year-old sister. But I can manage this. She thought about it and then added, I hope.
She'd have to tell Cornelius to tell her mother to leave in a polite but firm manner, or have him convince the crazy woman he was utterly boring, otherwise he'd never get rid of her. There'd be weekly visits, coffee at each other's houses, and Charlotte would eventually be forced to come along, enduring hours of boredom while her mom gabbled on about nothing with Cornelius.
While his fledgling was freaking out in the bathroom, Cornelius led Charlotte's mom and sister into the living room. The oldest woman pretended not to notice the mess. Victoria seemed intrigued.
"Are you alone here?" Charlotte's mom asked. "I thought I saw someone else."
"Oh, that was, um, Lottie, she's upstairs, in the shower. Always takes hours."
"Lottie?" repeated Mrs Walsh, rather nosily now. After observing him for a bit over four months, it was finally time to talk to that neighbour and get some answers.
"My fiancé," Cornelius blurted, re-using the lie they had served Lord Nightstalker at the castle. Immediately, his face turned beet red.
Mrs Walsh sat course for the only empty chair in the living room, the one Charlotte had sat in just ten minutes before, and sank comfortably down in it. "Have you set your date yet?"
Cornelius' eyes widened. On the left arm rest, a few inches from where Mrs Walsh's hand was resting, there were two tiny drops of blood left behind. Charlotte's mom used his pause to gesticulate at her younger daughter to sit down. Victoria sighed and sat down on a couch armrest, away from the wires and lights and bits and bobs of Cornelius' light show.
"We haven't decided yet," he smiled.
"I must admit, you sound familiar," Charlotte's mother commented.
Cornelius found himself looking for a way to escape. Funny that after four-hundred-and-something-now-really-it's-just-rude-to-ask years as a vampire, he'd feel threatened by a human female.
"Oh I - do I? Well, I guess I have one of those voices, it's nothing special, really-"
"Oh my god!" Victoria exclaimed. "You're the one singing, on that Christmas CD! Mom plays it all the time!"
"Not all the time," Mrs Walsh protested, before she turned to Cornelius again with an adoring look. "Mr Reading, I am your biggest fan!"
"That's nice," Cornelius stuttered, backing slowly away from her. "Well, Mrs Walsh, I promised you coffee, didn't I?"
"Please, call me Georgia," Charlotte's mother called after him as he disappeared into the kitchen.
Poor Cornelius jumped when someone knocked gently on the kitchen window. He spun around, ridiculously big knife at the ready, and saw Charlotte on the other side of the window-pane.
"What's with the knife?" she whispered when he opened the window.
"Nevermind. I thought it was someone else," Cornelius breathed silently. "I've never had fans before. I'm not sure how I feel about it."
"You told her you sing in that choir?" Charlotte sighed. Of course, if there was anything worse than having a fourteen-year-old fangirl sister it was having a fifty-year-old fangirl mother. Her family would always bring out her need to scream.
"Just make her coffee and get her out," Charlotte hissed.
"Alright," Cornelius muttered, putting something down at the counter. Charlotte saw the something, and scrunched her face up in disgust. Her mother had given Cornelius a fruitcake. The one that old aunt Mildred had made and gifted to them - before she died four years ago.
"Word of advice," Charlotte added, "whatever you do, don't eat that cake. Don't even pretend to eat it."
"I'll be fine. Coffee, and out," Cornelius repeated. He looked rather relieved for a second, but then he got a panicked look. Charlotte quickly deduced he didn't have any coffee in the house, and ran across the road to rob her mom's kitchen. Really, this was getting ridiculous.
As Cornelius put down two steaming hot moccas in front of her mom and sister, Charlotte was climbing in a window on the second floor.
"This tastes wonderful!" Mrs Walsh commented, unaware it was the same coffee she complained about at home.
Victoria put down her cup after one sip. "Mr Reading, could I use the bathroom?"
"Sure," Cornelius said. Mrs Walsh and Charlotte, the last who was back at the top of the stairs, listening in to what they said downstairs, wondered what was going on. Victoria liked to pretend she had no bowel movements.
Charlotte drew back when her sibling came up the stairs. Victoria didn't see her watching behind the door to Cornelius' bedroom. Charlotte's sister listened for sound at the bathroom door, before she opened one of the other doors, leading in to a room Cornelius used to stash all his mess in. Then she entered silently.
Charlotte was momentarily distracted by the sight of a huge pile of Christmas presents inside the room, so it took her a moment to understand what the girl was doing.
It wasn't like Victoria to nose around. Both sisters were goody two shoes in comparison to lots of others, but Victoria was a saint compared to Charlotte, who insisted on learning martial arts instead of the noble arts of song and piano playing. But now she was sneaking around the house of a neighbour.
Victoria re-entered the hallway and decided on another room. Of course she had to choose the one I'm hiding in, Charlotte grumbled silently, pressing herself against the wall behind the door and hoping she wouldn't be noticed.
The door opened wide, almost touching Charlotte, who held her breath for some reason. Victoria walked in, not noticing she was being watched. Charlotte observed, still holding her breath, desperate to figure out what her sister deduced from what she saw.
Cornelius' bedroom was just that, a room with a bed, a wardrobe, and a small heap of laundry in the corner. Cornelius was neat but decades of being a bachelor rubbed off on him.
The room wasn't in use though, except for when Mistoffeles needed a quiet place to snooze and curled up in the middle of the bed. Cornelius was a traditionalist and slept in a coffin. However he kept that hidden down in the basement, behind a secret door, just in case someone should come looking.
Victoria walked up to the side of the bed and swept her hand across the nightstand, picking up a thin layer of dust. She turned with a triumphant grin, and Charlotte got the horrible feeling that Victoria knew. But how?
Before Charlotte could formulate a plan or decide whether she should confront her sister, their mother called for Victoria. "Darling, we have to go now!"
Victoria jumped at the sound and hurried out of the room. She closed the door silently behind her.
Charlotte waited until her family had left, letting the faint sounds of goodbyes wash over her. Then she walked down. The waiting time had given her no ideas on how to break this to Cornelius.
He waited in the entrance, got one look at her face, and sighed. "Calm down."
"I am calm," Charlotte replied tonelessly.
"Then drop that shell-shocked face, you're scaring me."
Charlotte rubbed her eyes, feeling another headache coming on. Today's crisis had unexpectedly escalated into gigantic proportions in the manner of just twenty minutes. She chose to tackle the easiest problem first and work herself upwards. When she was finished saving Cornelius' reputation she could tackle AIDS or world hunger.
"What were they doing here?"
"I don't know, your mother said she noticed my Christmas lights. But then she also said a lot of other things. She doesn't seem to like poor Mrs Spitznogle."
"She says a lot of stupid things, especially about Mrs Spitznogle."
"So I noticed."
Cornelius had in no way been prepared for the gossip-fuelled woman and fumed silently while cleaning up the mess she had left. But at the very least she had believed him when he told her the blood drops on the chair was ketchup left behind by his messy fiancé. His mood lightened considerably when he spotted a red bow that had decorated the fruitcake Mrs Walsh had brought along, in the mess. He had made Mrs Walsh eat two slices of the fruitcake, claiming he was deadly allergic to nuts and apples, so at the very least his rare guests would have to enjoy the lovely cake. This might have had something to do with her sudden need to clean her kitchen before dinner.
He picked the bow up. "This would look adorable on Misty," he commented and looked around for the cat, which was found napping on the kitchen counter. Charlotte followed him absent-mindedly.
The Magical Mister Mistoffeles saw his owner and the bow coming, and had his claws at the ready.
At first Charlotte had been seriously worried about how Cornelius acted around the cat, afraid he was losing what little sanity was left after four-hundred-and-something-alright-I-admit-it-I-don't-remember-my-age years as a creature of the night. Then she realised it was standard for all cat owners to obsess and coo and act really weird. Besides, now she had a more pressing matter on hand. If Cornelius was found out, so could she be. And Charlotte could be grounded.
"You will be even more adorable with this," Cornelius insisted, quickly followed by an exclamation of pain, and then, "Alright, maybe not."
"We need to talk," Charlotte said, and Cornelius turned with scratched hands and a slightly panicked expression, the last akin to that every male will wear when hearing those four fatal words from the mouth of a female.
"What have I done wrong?" he asked, hoping not to get "nothing" in reply.
"It's not you, it's my family," Charlotte started.
And that was all she had time to say before both vampires froze. There was a faint sound at the front door, and someone crept into the house, meaning to be silent, but to a vampire's keen ears it was obvious someone was there. Cornelius motioned to Charlotte to remain where she was while he checked it out. She was tempted to ignore him and follow, make sure he was safe, but stayed in the kitchen in case it was her mom coming back. Charlotte decided getting up from bed this morning had been a huge mistake.
Cornelius wasn't sure who or what to expect, but when Victoria stepped into the living room, he concluded that he hadn't expected her.
"God, I thought she'd never leave!" the teen blurted.
Cornelius blinked. "Did you forget anything?"
"No."
"Oh," he said. There was a pause, and he continued, trying to sound polite. "Then why are you here?"
"I know what you are," Victoria said.
Her words hit like a sledgehammer. Inside the kitchen Charlotte ranted off the worst tirade ever against her idiot bird-headed sister. Cornelius would have to play obvious, and luckily he had a natural talent for that, or Victoria would have to be silenced, somehow. Charlotte didn't know what happened to humans who discovered the dark secret, but she couldn't think of anything nice, and there was no way in hell she would allow her sister to become a vampire like them - eternity was going to be sanity-wrecking enough without a little sister to come along for the ride.
"What I am?" Cornelius asked, frowning at the girl. "What do you mean?"
Victoria didn't waver. "You want me to say it, out loud?"
Charlotte was reminded of Shadow, Lord Nightstalker's brainless girlfriend and occasional midnight snack. This was the result of allowing teenyboppers to read sappy vampire fiction.
Cornelius didn't get the reference and only shrugged. "If you'd like, I suppose. You could whisper or yell too. What's this about?"
"Vampire."
"What?"
"You're a vampire."
"No, I'm not."
"Don't deny it."
Charlotte took the chance Victoria's attention was glued to her supposed vampire neighbour, and peeked around the corner. Cornelius didn't look very happy to be called a vampire. Victoria didn't look very intimidated by confronting a several hundred years old bloodsucker.
"Are you serious?" Cornelius asked, eyebrows almost touching his hairline.
"You know I am."
Cornelius scrambled for something that would prove him not-vampire. "Really," he laughed. "And since when did vampires start decorating their suburbian homes for Christmas? I thought they'd rather inhabit old, drafty castles."
Victoria frowned at this, but shook her head. "You're just trying to fit in. But you'd never have to hide from me. I could be your friend."
Charlotte's need to slap her sibling increased drastically. She ducked into the kitchen again to get her anger under control. Deep breaths.
"Listen to yourself, you're coming across as rather crazy. Your mother would be worried if she heard you." Charlotte silently cheered Cornelius on. Threatened with their mother, both sisters would resort to easy escapes.
Cornelius took a step towards Victoria, aiming to take her by the arm, guide her out and then run into the kitchen to freak out with Charlotte. Freaking out would be nice now. Only, he had overestimated the calm outside of the teen, who jumped when the vampire stepped closer and reached for her secret weapon.
"I'm armed," Victoria yelled, voice a bit shaky.
Cornelius automatically ducked when she pulled something out of a pocket. Charlotte automatically popped her head out into the living room again, her need for knowing and having control overriding any sense of self-preservation.
Both vampires looked at Victoria's hands and realised she held a tiny gold crucifix in front of herself. Cornelius straightened himself. Charlotte recognised the gold ornament. It was hers, from the necklace her grandma had given to her, and that thieving little thief of a sister had nicked it from her room.
"You're allergic to crosses, you live in the dark," Victoria argued, motioning to the drawn blinds that still bathed the first floor in shadows.
Cornelius thought against telling Victoria the truth and stared at the cross in her shaking hands.
He sighed. "As if crucifixes would work," he complained, feeling rather sheepish after the dodge. "I thought you were going to throw something at me, so I ducked."
"So you are a vampire."
"No, I'm- I just told you that crucifixes don't work, didn't I?" Cornelius had the sudden urge to punch something. Not every vampire managed to out himself to a female teenager, despite what popular literature might have to say.
Victoria stared, wide eyed.
Charlotte held her breath again - strange, despite being a vampire, mostly dead, she still had to breathe, and have a beating heart and a working brain. So she wasn't completely dead. She wasn't even half dead. But if her sister ended up in any kind of trouble related to Charlotte - and Cornelius most certainly was, it wouldn't be long before their mother killed her.
"Oh - my - god!" the tween exulted, the realisation finally sinking in. "You are a vampire! This is so cool!"
"Uh-oh," Cornelius muttered.
"Wait till my friends hear about it! And don't worry, vampires are so hot right now. You'll be like, the coolest person ever!"
Cornelius seemed frozen. Charlotte thought in horror at what would happen if her sister was allowed to leave the house. It was a miracle she hadn't tweeted about it yet.
Victoria turned her back towards a potentially dangerous creature, obviously thinking herself safe from Cornelius. Charlotte would have to have a word with her about that kind of idiocy, but before that she would have to protect someone else.
Charlotte didn't stop to think before she ran after her sister and hauled the girl into the room again by her collar. Victoria yelped and landed on the floor with a surprised oof! and then looked up with fear in her eyes, expecting Cornelius to have hurt her. When she saw her sister instead, her fear quickly turned to irritation.
She looked to be about to open her mouth, either to yell at Charlotte for manhandling her or to ask her sister what the hell she was doing here, Cornelius presumed, when Charlotte hissed, baring her full set of very sharp and very scary teeth at her sister.
Victoria stared some more, in true horror this time, and then she fainted. Cornelius looked down at her. A pile of wires had taken her fall, and the lights had somehow been switched on by the impact, so now she lay sprawled on top of the blinking, multicoloured Christmas lights looking like some serial killer's seasonal ornament.
Charlotte was lost to the world in a silent panic attack. A hysterical loop of "Oh-my-gosh-what-do-I-do-now-she-knows-oh-my-gosh-what-do-I-do," was put on repeat inside her skull. Through the haze she heard Cornelius clear his throat.
"Have anyone told you you're incredibly scary at times?"
"You might have mentioned it once or twice."
"I think I have."
They stared at Victoria again.
"No need to be so rough with her, she's your sister."
"And?" Charlotte scoffed. "Little bitch stole my shampoo last week." She remembered her necklace and fished it out of Victoria's jacket. "Brought this upon myself, if you ask me."
The tough act melted away. "Please tell me there's some way to make her forget, what I did was so stupid, she'll never be able to keep her fucking mouth shut."
"I might know someone who knows someone who would be perfect for dealing with this," Cornelius said. "She's a hypnotist, I'm sure she can make your sister forget."
"I hope."
"Look on the bright side, this day can't get much worse," Cornelius said.
"Let's not tempt fate."
"I'll just go get my phone then." Cornelius had a look around before he realised it was in his pocket.
Charlotte sat down on the floor in defeat and hissed an honest yet affectionate "Idiot!" to her sister.
Cornelius revisited the vague memories of his smaller brother. The boy had the whole village in an uproar one time they played hide-and-seek. Emanuel was really good at hiding, and there was no way he would come out before he was found, even if it was past midnight and everyone looked for him because they thought he had been killed or carried off by a wolf.
He looked at Charlotte. "You want a strong coffee?"
"That would be perfect, thanks."
"Coming up," Cornelius said, walking into the kitchen. While the coffee brewed he called for help.
"Hello?" a gruff, familiar voice responded. Unlike Cornelius some vampires liked to sleep during daytime.
"Long time no see," Cornelius said, expecting either a joyous or an enraged response.
There was a bang, one Cornelius knew all too well. He couldn't count all the times he had sat up in his coffin without removing the lid first.
"Cornelius! Where have you been? I haven't seen you in at least a decade!"
"I know," Cornelius responded, pouring a mug for Charlotte while holding the cell between his ear and his shoulder. Multitasking was not only for women. "But as much as I'd love to chat," he continued, "I sort of have an emergency here, and I need the number of the hypnotist you were seeing, hm, ten years ago."
"Oh, well, we don't make social calls often, do we?"
"No," Cornelius admitted, trying to ignore the guilt induced by the disappointment in the other vampire's voice. It had been a few decades since they had talked without shouting.
"I'll get it for you."
"That'd be great, thanks." Cornelius lingered a moment and then just jumped in it with both feet. "I know you think vampires aren't supposed to be very festive during human holidays, but if you want to, I'm having a Christmas dinner, and I'd love to have you here."
There was a long silence, and Cornelius' heart sank. "You don't have to come if you don't want to," he blurted. "It's just a silly human tradition."
"I'd love to," the vampire answered, sounding flustered and happy at once. "Is it okay if I bring my wife? She's sort of the hypnotist you need to talk to anyway."
When Cornelius hung up after explaining where he lived, he wore a silly grin on his face. "Everything will be alright," he said.
Charlotte, who had come into the kitchen looking for her coffee midways in Cornelius' heartfelt invitation, tilted her head at him. "Who was that?"
"That was Emanuel," Cornelius said. "He's coming over. I think you'll like him."
Ingen kommentarer:
Legg inn en kommentar